Although poeks’ question wasn’t directed at me, I also work in the male-dominated field of engineering. My experiences with sexism have been different than Annie’s. The sexism I’ve faced has been more subtle.
Two scenarios play out time after time, from when I was the only girl in my AP Chemistry and AP Physics classes in high school to the present, where I’m one of two females in my group of validation engineers at a pharmaceutical company.
1) A woman makes a common mistake that everyone on the team has made before and is treated far harsher than her male counterparts. Heads shake in disgust. Eyes roll at the stupidity of the mistake. She finds that certain individuals are not willing to work with her in the future. Her name spreads throughout the plant as someone to be wary of. The next female who joins the group is treated with the same suspicions of incompetence.
2) A woman is assertive in a way that men aren’t used to. She doesn’t defer to her male colleagues. She promotes her own ideas and fights to see her suggestions implemented. She doesn’t start her sentences with “Maybe this is a dumb question…” or “Correct me if I’m wrong…” or “I could be way off-base here…” She is labeled a bitch. Not just a pushy jerk. A bitch, which has very different connotations.
Sometimes these things happen unconsciously. A man who warns an operator to double-check my work probably doesn’t intend to be sexist and would likely deny his actions stem from sexism. On the other hand, he would never think to warn other employees about a male colleague who made the exact same mistake.
Of course, this behavior is not limited to men. Women are just as capable of bias. Sometimes it stems from competition. Sometimes from wanting to distance herself from the woman who messed up, fearing guilt by association. Sometimes women push each other away because they feel like it makes them “one of the guys” and less susceptible to unfair treatment.
When I interned at the research institute of a major hospital, I was often hesitant to make decisions, terrified I’d make a mistake, that I’d be labeled a liability, that I’d get knowing looks in meetings. My PI, a great mentor, got angry that I was so unsure of myself. She assured me that the male interns had all made mistakes that cost their PIs money. They all did something stupid and inept that hindered their progress. “But they walk around here like they’re hot shit.” (And they did.)
These cases of sexism can be hard to convey, because there’s plausible deniability on the part of the perpetrator. Really, there’s nothing wrong with someone double-checking my work when I fucked up on my last project. In fact, there’s nothing wrong with someone double-checking my work even when I haven’t fucked up. The problem is that it creates a double standard, where men are not under the same scrutiny as women. Will this be reflected in my year-end evaluations, which affect my salary and even my ability to keep my job? Are there qualified female candidates not being hired, or even interviewed, because there exists a perception in the company that women underperform?
I don’t mean to be all doom and gloom. I’m happy to say I’ve never faced the sort of blatant sexism that Annie has. Despite the lopsided ratio of men to women at my university, in my internships, at my current employer, I’m still thrilled with my overall positive experiences. At my current company, many women fill leadership roles, even in the especially male-dominated manufacturing and packaging operations.
It goes without saying that every woman (and man) has her (and his) own experiences and anecdotes. I’m interested to hear more about Jen’s and anyone else who’s willing to share.
